1-20-16

Men who think that women need a man to validate themselves are weak men who need to feel controlling over women because they have no control over themselves.

This is my generic letter I send to most men on social networks.

#1 My name is actually on my profile it is not some adjective you call every other female on Facebook.

#2 I am married and separated and have no desire to be married and dating anyone.

#3 I am handicapped and so is my child.

#4 I work mostly from home so yes I am online a lot but I am not online to send you private pictures, Skype or sext in any way EVER.

#5 No, I do not do porn.

#6 If you send me a pic of your sad little penis I will report you for sexual harassment and then forward the pics to everyone on your friend list starting with your family members.

#7 You may think I am a bitch for sending you this note but come on, you understand that you most likely deserve it because you are not the only “nice guy” to write with false pretenses.

#8 I like to social network for business purposes and to make real honest to goodness friends. Make a funny comment on something. Click like on 1 or 2 pics, not 75 in a row…Baby steps to trust and friendship.

#9 I do not care how hot and rich and popular you say you are.

#10 I am educated. I am self-employed. I pay my own bills. My car is paid off. I have a Chihuahua. I am an awesome catch, but I am uncatchable, and I like it that way.

#11 Last but not least, if you complain or respond to this…I will just send it again.

 

1-24-16

Wearing pajama pants out in public...Wearing leggings as pants, even when you’re fat...Capri’s on tall people...Mom jeans...And...Acid wash is back!

The pajama pants thing...I understand that they are comfy. I have a 16 year old son who is mentally about 7 and he loves all of the cartoon characters that are available on the man sized pj pants. They also, for some reason often come longer than regular pants such as sweat pants. So yes, I do let him wear them out of the house. I do not let him wear them if he has slept in them, if they are dirty or if his shirt doesn’t match. I want him to be comfortable and happy while taking a little pride in his personal care and appearance. I myself do not own any pajama pants. I sleep in whatever I wore throughout the day. I figure why not. My point is, if you, for whatever reason you have, wear your pj pants out...Don’t wear them with slippers. Make sure they’re clean...Take some pride in how you carry yourself.

Wearing leggings as pants. I wear them all of the time. They are awesome. I am fat and if you do not want to see me in them hey...look over there! And shut the fuck up. I match them. I wear them with nice shoes. They are clean. Bite me. If I could find a pair that matched my flesh tone, I would rock them everywhere!

I am 6 feet tall. I wear what others call capri’s but really, on me they are like burmuda shorts. They hit at the middle of my knee. So yes, we wear them, you just don’t realize it.

Mom jeans...I wear these too but only when I have a shirt on that is long enough to cover the fact that the waist goes up to my armpits. Hey, comfort is comfort!

Acid wash...No. Just no. STOP. HALT. NO ENTRANCE. YUCK. GROSS. HORRIFIC. NO.

Pain sucks. I mean, let’s be real, who wants heartache or foot ache or back ache or any ache? Some people get beaten down by pain, esp. heartache or chronic pain. In a way, I have both though the chronic illness pain is much worse and never goes away so that is the worst of it. I could sit on my butt and whine and cry and bitch and whatever, but that makes it worse for me. I like to yell and scream and fight back against my pain...It’s louder, more invigorating, and lets’ face it...It’s more fun. I am about middle aged now and hell if I am gonna just back and cry daily and be nothing but a pitiful ball of pain.

I get insults hurled at me daily in public and on social media and people who email me and relatives...I am fat and tattooed and no one cares that I am a good mother, a hard worker, a good friend, educated, funny...Fat and tattoos seem to scare the world. AWESOME!

I am in pain daily. I mean Tuberous Sclerosis, Hypothyroidism, Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s disease aren’t exactly party games...But I figure...I have a choice. I can either live as happily as possible and try to defy all of the odds or I can say ‘dammit, I hurt’ and just sleep and cry and who the hell wants that?

I got a phone call a few days ago from my doctor. She had my latest blood work results and she thinks I may have thyroid cancer. Another glitch in my life plan but I will beat it if I have it. I don’t ever give myself the option of not beating stuff like this. I am in a wheelchair part time, but I force myself to use my cane and walker as much as possible so I do not get so used to the chair. I realize MS may make my legs completely dysfunctional at some point, but I refuse to help it.

The point of me writing all of this is simply...Keep your head held high. The world can get to anyone. It is full of doubt and assholes and illness and crime and idiots. Rise above. Practice self-love. (Not in the perverted kind, or do...whatever lol) Just be happy. Be kind. Stand up for yourself. Accept yourself. Confidence and happiness will help you heal your pain. Even some of the physical kind.